World Walker

  Suddenly the fog fades For as long as I can remember I have been plagued with depression and out of control anxiety. And its never a mystery when I am feeling smothered by them, because you have hear it in the words that I write on my socials, and while I feel like I am pretty good at masking in person, my writing is my give away. The last post I wrote was about how much I regretted working at my daughters daycare. I mentioned a lot, but refrained from saying much more. Which I will explain, but my wee girl as 3 weeks left there and I am afraid of them passing negativity about me on to Chloe. What has happened though, is that I got a new job. Most of you know that already, a lot of you don't.  Getting my new job was an absolutely wild experience. During my work at the ECE centre, I was so desperate to get out that I was applying for 10+ jobs a night. I was applying for anything and everything so I didn't have to feel anxious and cry every day before I started (and more often...

Fresh out of University I was on the lookout for my very first teaching job as a Primary School teacher. Full of hope and a "can't get me down" attitude I applied for role after role after role, and didn't even get to the interview stages. My optimistic outlook quickly plummeted and I would dread applying for yet another role. I tweaked my CV, I changed my cover letter over and over and nothing could sell me. In hindsight I actually believe it was the maternity leave sections in my CV that were seen by the hiring teams. Most employers will look at a mother of three young children and go "hell no, that's sick leave overload", and I don't blame then for that because it is actually the truth, the sick leave for the kids is unfathomable.  A month later I saw a job listing at my daughters daycare, perfect I thought, I could spend all day with my girl, tick off my registration and have a nice easy entry into the teaching profession. I went into...

One of my goals this year is to pursue the things that make my heart sing. Challenge myself to try new things that I have always wanted to do, extend the skills I already have, and continue my lifelong theme of figuring out who I am. Whether you know this or not, I love to write. I just enjoy putting words down on paper, seeing what comes out. The problem with my love of writing is that it feels so personal. I would be baring a piece of my soul and having it out there to be scrutinised by whoever came across this blog by chance. I want to share what I write, but the anxiety stops me every time. And I am not claiming to be a good writer at all, I want to say that right now. If I were to share my writing it will not be the same as reading Tolkien, or Maas. I've had no practice, no formal training outside of my year 13 English classes, I just simply have a love for it. Being in this generation of the world is equal parts incredible, and equal parts absolutely terrifying. There is ...